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Does Romney Have a Chance?

By: Michael Gawlik

He’s a lock for the Republican nomination, but does Mitt Romney really have a shot at beating Obama?

Mitt Romney seems to have learned something from his first time taking a swing at the presidency.  Unlike in 2008, he has managed to snag the most states in the Republican Primary, (maybe) gain the trust of voters, and most of all, after what Fidel Castro called “the greatest competition of idiocy and ignorance that has ever been” emerge victorious with a chance to take on the most powerful man in America.  So why isn’t he celebrating?  Because, truth be told, he’s got just about no chance of winning.
With little backing from his party and an incredibly sloppy primary whose mess still needs cleaning up, Romney’s chance of winning the election are roughly equivalent to those of Lord Voldemort adopting Harry Potter.  He has been accused of flipping positions regularly and has been criticized for refusing to release his tax returns; he’s got the mannerisms of a robot and is about as trustworthy as a used car salesman.
His religion has been attacked and he’s been called too rich (well duh, he grew up in Bloomfield).  Many think that he thinks he is above the rest of the world, but as far as the Republican party goes this isn’t really too uncommon.
So how did Romney get the nomination?  He’s not very well liked and it seems more than a bit counterintuitive to nominate a guy who lost to the guy who lost to Obama last time.  But things start to make a little more sense when you consider the other options available.  When the only other choices are a bigot, someone who would rather that the federal government not exist, and a guy named Newt, most people probably would have gone with Romney too.
It seems unlikely that these former foes will become friends, as Santorum has very vocally expressed his prophecy of Romney’s failure in a race against Obama and Gingrich remains convinced that the two states he has won will carry him all the way to the oval office.  The only person with any faith in him at all is Ron Paul, who, as the Romney administration will be delighted to note, has carried zero states in the primary to this point.
The former Massachusetts governor has already stacked the odds greatly against himself.  But if he somehow manages to pick up the pieces of his campaign, someone else will be waiting to knock them back down.  That someone is President Obama.
The Obama administration was quick to figure out that the one to beat in November will be Romney; it has already launched an advertisement against his pro big oil corporation policies and his opposition to the Automotive Bailout.  If Obama continues to find leverage in the patchy policy support Romney has supported in the past, the opportunity the opportunity for an upset will go from being unlikely to impossible.
Of course, Romney still has a chance of winning if the nation hiccups.  On the list of the greatest flubs in American history, Romney winning the election would fall somewhere between voting Jennifer Hudson off of American Idol and our letting Janet Jackson perform at the Super Bowl.  These sort of things don’t make much sense, they kind of just happen without anyone realizing what’s gone on before it’s too late.
Which is why the Obama administration should remain vigilant in their campaigns against Romney.  There is no reason why Obama shouldn’t win; his approval rating is above 50% and his opponent is a schmuck coming off of a crippling primary.  The only way the president can lose is if his campaign becomes too sure of itself, arrogant enough to let Romney find a few loopholes and manage to make this ting a real race.
What’s more interesting is how Romney and Obama will face off in Michigan, where each has a unique edge over the other.  Romney is a hometown boy with name recognition from his former governor father; Obama won here in 2008 and will campaign as much as ever in a historically Democratic state.  While presidential candidates have almost always won their home state, Romney will face be faced with the challenging of overcoming his opposition to government aid in the recovery of the auto industry.
After saying “Let Detroit go bankrupt”, Romney will struggle more than ever to win back the hearts of Southeast Michigan.  With a similar swagger to how the Big Three paid back its loans from the government, Detroiters may just throw it all in Romney’s face and cast their vote for Obama just to spite him.  If you can’t win over your home state, Mitt, chances are you won’t be able to win over the nation as a whole.
All politics aside, Obama simply feels less fake than Romney.  The First Family has spunk and a certain dynamic, whereas Romney’s seems like it just stepped out of a 1950s advertisement for the great next refrigerator.  Romney plays up his resolute moral values; is it ironic that he is also a politician?
Romney continues to run under the facade of being a family man of traditional values and  a belief in bringing America to what it was.  Yada yada ya, just keep throwing all of that Republican BS at us.  Eventually we’ll drink the Kool- Aid, right?
Wrong, or at least for this election.  Any chance a Republican had of winning went out the window during the election when they started attacking one another like a few betta fish thrown into a tank together.  Romney’s best hope for the election is to win a couple of battleground states, hang up his boots in one of his many mansions and call it a year.  But will he do that?  Chances are no, so it’ll probably be best to grab a bucket of popcorn and wait for the slaughter to begin.

3 Responses to Does Romney Have a Chance?

  1. Maureen April 29, 2012 at 8:44 AM

    As an adult I feel very differently about the next election. I feel that President Obama ,et.al, should shashshy out of the White House and go on another vacation. America has suffered enough hardship and embarrassment under this administration and we definitely need a “change” from the “change”. Most real Americans want to work and Mr.Obama’s promises fell far short and it was his promise and his responsibility,in the adult world.

    Reply
    • Charles May 4, 2012 at 3:24 AM

      Tracking down and killing Bin Laden was an embarrassment? Bailing out the auto industry was an embarrassment? Its not like he wants to cut food stamps for the poor and give people that earn 1 million a year a 100k tax break.

      Reply
  2. Becky May 9, 2012 at 10:12 PM

    Great article. I laughed so hard I cried. I agree with your assessment, but as you said with Jennifer and Janet, stranger things have happened. So I bought a case of popcorn to watch the show.

    Reply

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